Learn, Unlearn, Adjust… Wash Rinse and Repeat.

When we observe we learn. If we are conscious about our learning process we absorb, process and re-shape our own thoughts through the information we are processing through observation.

Unconscious learning is more passive by nature where we may ‘pick up’ on different methods, ideas and processes though the experience may feel a bit foggy.

No one can focus on everything at once. There is always a combination of both conscious learning and unconscious learning happening to some degree at any given time. This is why assumptions play such a big role, we need to make them to get through everyday life.

We Need Assumptions to Get Through Everyday Life

That by itself in the midst of being the unfortunate object of a stalker, is a very big deal. It is also a step in bringing an ordeal to an end. We make assumptions 8 times out of 10 about most everything and everyone. Our stalker also makes assumptions. This is a big part in stopping a stalker, or at least catching them.

A stalker may also be aware of this (to a greater or lesser degree and will likely compensate.

How do you compensate for incorrect assumptions without showing yourself to be looking for information?

Why you get it from other people. Gossip, or just second hand information will be more correct than a faulty perspective. After all they have been compensating most of their lives for most everything so, this won’t be any different.

Take this very natural process and layer on agendas, un-resolved desires, frustrations, obsessions, wounds (both perceived and real) aggression, blame, resentment, projected attitudes representing whatever emotional, mental, psychic knot is present in someone and well… it goes to a dark place very quickly.

This can and will vary from circumstance to circumstance. In ours we were dealing with a resentful, highly manipulative resentful stalker who is an opportunist.

  • This means if they decided to trespass on our property and there are gardening tools sitting out then well there will be some creativity with gardening tools. Like they might disappear or be moved or get used to tear up the garden.
  • If there are clothes pins left on the line, they will be re-arranged or disappear, only to be found somewhere else.
  • The car may have a busted windshield, or a flat tire.
  • The garden may be dug up or destroyed.
  • Dryer vents will get smashed.
  • Outdoor furniture will be damaged.

That was a fraction of what we dealt with.

What I did see was the learning curve. They (yes, for at least a little whole there was more than one) learned from what they did, how they did it, to get better at doing it.

Observation and Reflection

To observe reflect, adapt and change is a steady learning curve. This is all about repetition with small changes made each time to reflect insights. It takes awareness, intention and consciousness. It also takes there kind of patience needed to reach a goal. Don’t mistake this for patience for the sake of patience. Patience for the sake of being or developing patience is rare.

You will know the difference because once it becomes apparent the goal is not achievable, you may find out through an epic tantrum or violent outburst just how patient they are not. A stalker is likely only as patient as they feel their goal can be achieved. It was certainly the case with us.

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice does make perfect…  especially the negative stuff because you get immediate gratification.

You (meaning the stalker and any accomplices) also receive the self validation from the effort you have invested in by criminally learning at the expense of someone else has yielded the desired results.  As a bonus, you get whatever additional insights and knowledge from the success of that process.

The interesting thing is; learning requires humility and at some point a direct connection to the source of your learning focus. You cannot learn everything (but you can learn a lot) vicariously or second hand information via others. Stalkers in general learn at the expense of others.

They would not be sneaking around trying to watch you when you think no one is watching if this were not so. Stalkers will go to extreme lengths to hide what is otherwise a very natural human desire to learn.

While they may have a very intuitive streak, it will be limited and fundamentally incorrect the majority of the time because of the skewed perspective and emotional state.

Consciousness Built on Negative Spaces

This is the hard part about a consciousness that is built on the ’emotional negative spaces’. Some folks may have an unusual intelligence.

But, ethics and consideration of other people plus unlearning they need to go through to get past the extreme negativity… will challenge them deeply. Since their early learning processes were tied so closely to survival or perceived survival (as in some other people I have known have gone through).

So, it is not an unreasonable assumption to conclude that while a stalker is learning whatever they are at our expense, they too have blind spots. So, it is also a reasonable to assume that to be able to catch a stalker, or at the very least discover their blind spot.

After all how do you catch someone who is using your blind spot to abuse you? You have to discover their blind spot. To do that you have to step out of your own head first.