If only we could turn back tome to that point where we could understand, stop or even prevent something… How many of us who has had to deal with a stalker would happily reclaim our lives or never allow ourselves to be terrorized by invisible bullies and attackers? How many of us would happily reclaim any happiness and positive energy we knew?
An elaborate Yes or NO question for sure but here are a few things to keep in mind for anyone finding themselves in the self-doubting space well on the other side of dealing with a stalker.
- NO one who cares about you will put you through prolonged mental and emotional abuse of stalking.
- NO one who cares about you will make you feel badly or put you in a compromising situation.
- NO one who cares about you will steal from you or go through your belongings when you are not present.
- NO one who cares for you will hack your phone, home internet network or any device to monitor your whereabouts, activity, conversations and contacts.
So many people we have spoken with want to be compassionate and understanding to their detriment. The toughest aspects of the human dynamic in this circumstance has been facing the reality that there will likely never be certain types of understanding of the motivations, reasons and attractions that led our stalkers to do what they have done in the first place.
Prevent Stalking or Stop it in the Beginning
Even if you know the person, have been in a relationships with them or they are someone who is a tertiary part of your orbit, keep these things in mind.
- When you start seeing weird behavior or finding things out of place address it immediately and directly.
- If you experience any strange issues with social media accounts, your cell phone or any information which is used digitally then address is immediately. At the very least change any and all passwords.
- If you experience any issues directly with behavior from others from taunting, abusive gossip, harassment, or bullying of any kind address it immediately and directly to the people who are doing it. Make sure they know their behavior is noticed and is not acceptable.
Why should anyone be allowed to deny you your life let alone continually abuse, harass, vandalize property, and steal? Demand a higher standard of behavior from people around you no matter what your culture, age or gender is.
Deconstructing Stalking: Sometimes there is no Deep Insight to Human Behaviors
While we can’t truly speak for everyone who has dealt with stalking what we can tell you is our type of stalking definitely has habituation aspect to it.
More in the sense of if they can get away with it it is just more tempting to continue. Simple rewards vs risk. Only in this case the risk is part of the reward. So, being tempted to continue is that much greater.
Ignoring a stalker won’t make them go away. Direct contact, communication and response to behaviors is the only way to deal with a stalker that we have found has any impact.
- Accountability matters. It also removes self imposed illusions and ideas about any circumstance or people being targeted on the part of the stalker.
- Expose the Stalker. Hence this is one practical application of the previous point. Share evidence with everyone of their extra-curricular activities.
- Ignore criticism of others. They are not walking in your shoes and likely will only have minimal understanding. This may or may not change even with proof.
In the Beginning: Swift Direct Action
From the very beginning of any type of stalking behavior respond with the strongest response possible. This can manifest in a number of different ways depending on the circumstance.
- a strong equal and opposite reaction
- remove yourself from the circumstance literally
- report them to the authorities, especially if there are additional crimes being committed (burglary, vandalism etc.)
- direct communication expressing the behavior is not welcome. This is important as some stalkers make claims which contradict the actual experience which is created.
NO matter what address the behavior you experience quickly. Extending any understanding spoken or unspoken leaves room for misunderstanding. That space can allow for the worst stalking circumstances to continue unchecked.