relationships Archives | Notes to a Stalker

The Beginnings of Obsessive Relationships: Gossip and Complaining One of the harder realities I have had to face in life is that some people form obsessive relationships, foster those obsessive relationships and grow closer to others through negativity. This usually shows itself as complaining and general negativity that goes beyond the cruddy mood we all find ourselves in from time to time. The tendency for obsessive relationships can also show itself as manipulation or 'concern' that requires acquiring lots of information about someone who is the focus of 'concern'. This can also manifest as 'love bombing' or showering on a great deal of positive attention towards someone, and then turn the tables later with by expresses criticism masked as concern, complains about, or gossips to others behind your back. This kind of insidious doubt often builds the foundation of taking someone down by dismantling their relationships. This is especially difficult if you ended up falling in love with one of these. They come in both the male and female variety. Negativity does not seem to discriminate based on gender, age, race, income bracket or religious and political affiliations. When you are with them and things are good they can't be better. But when you have to get on with the drudgery of everyday and be with them every waking moment then the weirdness happens. Over time the weirdness get weirder and eventually can turn into some pretty serious hostility and destruction. Ok, just got back from the flashback. Yep, I'm talking about another life so long ago... so I wandered a bit. That process I went through does make me wonder about life with a stalker or having one of those in you family and having to find out about their extracurricular activities. I can hear the conversation when they get home... So, this is what you are doing with your time? What are you thinking? Holy crap what was I thinking? How could I have missed this? Wait, I am not sure I did miss it... The point comes back to the obsessiveness of a stalker. Anytime anyone gets so obsessed and they either don't, can't or won't check themselves, they may be the ones with the problem instead of the person they are obsessed with. It's in these cases the stalker can easily move on to someone else who fits their 'type' and repeat the entire process again. Assumptions and Manipulations in a Group How much fun is it to tell everyone in a group something different and watch what happens? Sounds like a study in assumptions. In all practicality, it is a study in assumptions. However, picking up the pieces from that is not so much fun. There may be considerable damage because, as I have mentioned before, people make decisions based on the everyday assumptions we make to live life. Since there is no way to know everything about every situation, and everyone in every moment so out of necessity we have to make assumptions to live. So does everyone else. Being very aware of this ironically does not lessen my need for everyday assumptions needed to live. What my awareness does do is highlight those folks who think they don't need them, or those whose fantasies outweigh any practical reality about living, or yet still those who think their psychic abilities can transform existence with a single or a few thoughts and lots of feelings. This up this rant comes from thinking that goes kind of like this; 'With all the effort a stalker outs into this type of activity, what could they do or accomplish if they actually applied themselves to a talent, hobby or constructive focused activity?'

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