Fighting Passive Aggressive Behavior with More Passive Aggressive Behavior
Our successful process of gathering enough information on our stalker included images, information, video and other details. With all these wonderful things which this process has yielded, we knew we were taking a risk by leaving passive aggressive notes detailing everything we knew including who they are. We were able to successfully predict where they would come back to on the property.
Stalkers are not big on direct dialogue. It takes away from the crazy making, duplicity, mind games and the ‘get away with it’ factor. My goal was to reach our stalker/s on their turf (figuratively speaking it was actually ‘my turf’ I was reaching them on) but on my terms stepping into their stalking process using the same sneaky methods. If I got to do a bit of crazy making myself, excellent!
Yet, the stalker could also just leave the note alone. I mean you don’t have to pick up the piece of paper taped somewhere in the middle of the night with your name on it right?
We figured the content had to be somewhat soft yet, leave space for imagination or assumptions. So, we tried to play shrink a bit in these notes. Since everything about stalking reeks of passive aggressive behavior to the extreme, we knew we were taking a risk
Not surprisingly we did hit a bit of a nerve. Occasionally, there was some extra vandalism within 24 hours after a note was left out for them so… This isn’t rocket science, they were getting read.
This is an excerpt from a note:
“So here we are. Or more like it here you are… So, what is next? For you?
Have you thought about anything you have read? This is not for my entertainment, there are any number of things I would rather do. Take this seriously. I am putting serious thought and effort into this.
Isolating yourself emotionally is no laughing matter. What do you think stalking actually does? As you are finding out, there is a considerable cumulative effect as time marches on. Because up to this point, you may have thought you had it correct, or knew you had part of it (whatever ‘it’ is) correct and marched on anyhow thinking that you could force the rest to your desires but… that accumulation over time reveals otherwise. Figure out why? Yet…
All those little things we do from our thoughts to small actions to the bigger decisions to the life changing ones builds up in ways we can’t control, comprehend or express in the encompassing manifestation within a group like what you have here.
This is where it gets interesting. You have to in some way shape or form step out from behind all the attitudes, preconceived ideas, judgments, expectations about people and allow yourself to experience something different.
Take it a step further, you may have to go through a process where you articulate some or all of those notions in some way to acquire enough distance to experience something different.”
While yes it’s just a snippet in what has been a very long story. Apparently I found myself pontificating a bit. I mean I had a bit of a ‘captive’ audience.
My hope and intention is to help others facing similar circumstances. So, if you or anyone you know is dealing with a stalker please reach out to family, friends, contact law enforcement before you do anything like this.
We started doing this after having gathered enough information to know who it is but not enough to take further action so, we had to be smart prey to get the rest of the information we needed. These notes we left to our stalker played a key role in allowing us to get the rest of the information to go further.