Aside from the obvious creep factor of having a stalker and being a smidge of an investigator I wanted to take a peek under the proverbial hood of the human psyche and take a closer look at some of the underlying psychological, emotional and mental issues that stalkers can be facing.
Disclaimer: Just to be clear, I am not a mental health professional, I have just had the extensive and unique experience with one of the more twisted types of Stalkers (the Resentful Stalker) and have acquired some unique perspectives and coping skills as a result.
Context is Everything
If some general searches are performed on Google and even Pinterest for ‘Stalker’ and ‘Stalking’ you will find a ton of humor related posts and images. This shows just how prevalent stalking in one form or another is but also shows the perspective of being the object of obsession for a stalker… from that dark humor kind of place.
This allowed me to see even if for a moment the privilege of being the target for a stalker means. Then reality steps back in and yes, it’s the same privilege as being married to an abusive alchoholic, male or female…
Anyhow, this did prompt further thought on that obsessive quality of stalking and what more treatable issues may be just under the surface.
Stalking: Just a Bad Case of Anxiety Based OCD?
Well, while I would not quite go that far but… When you are the privileged target of a stalker and the obsessiveness is definitely… obsessive, to the point of where you wonder if this is just a really bad case of OCD or is this that crazy person you see about in the movies and on TV that justifies the presence of firearms?
After a bit more research into OCD, I found out there is much more to it than all the stereotypes we hear about and see from a generalized point of view of a super neat and tidy closet, ordering things in your environment and hand washing.
Apparently obsessive thoughts are at the core of most OCD issues and they in turn will send the emotions spinning. While I may have one or a related group of thoughts in my mind at any one time, I don’t just have one thought persistently in my head at any one time. There is always a bit of mental multi-tasking going on.
Another new thing I learned is OCD, anxiety and depression are all linked and someone struggling with one of these will likely have to deal with the others at some point in time. So, while they may actually have a real, treatable condition… rest assured life could get even more unpredictable while you have to deal with them.
Staking: I Love You, I Hate You… I Love You, I Hate You… I Love to Hate You
So, back to the obsession. Anyone, who has ever had to deal with an obsessive person who has somehow decided that you are the lucky winner of the ‘crazy person’ lottery will definitely recognize this.
Some types of OCD disorders have to do with obsessing over a person, even a stranger. Typical scenarios (yes, there are enough of these to have a ‘Typical’ category) include being obsessed on by a neighbor, co-worker or even complete stranger that you meet at the grocery store.
Yes, my spidey senses got a bit tingly at that one too.
Obsessive thoughts are also considered to be a part of bipolar disorder as well. That made me feel awesome seeing that, an obsessive person, who is fixated, anxious as hell and now… just add extreme/severe mood swings that go beyond mood swings.
Nonetheless, this just points to the very real possibility that with some stalkers there are some underlying problems for which there are solutions.
Whatever You Do, Don’t think About the Object of Your Obsession
Now while I was feeling so much more sane reading about all of this. I also was able to come across some very revealing personal experience with different types of OCD.
Seeing someone’s story about the more obsessive side of OCD and what people don’t see versus what they do, gave a more personal feel to the experience outside of the clinician’s view and treatment options. In this story, this person has definitely worked with themselves. You can tell just by the writing they have done a great deal of self reflection, trying different methods as a way to bring about change. Somehow they got past the judgmental side of self-condemnation enough to put a higher value on change, no matter how small.
So, a few takeaways from all of this;
- Change is good, no matter how small the change.
- Awareness is very important, no matter how creepy.
- Be careful what you Google search…