blindspots Archives | Notes to a Stalker

We all know the feeling, the rush of the last minute escape or getting away with something... It could be as obvious as a surviving your first bungee jump, successfully parachuting out of a plane, a near miss of a car accident, even the most modest win at a casino gives you that will rush (unless of course you do the accounting on that modest casino win and you are honest with yourself about how much you put in vs what you got out). A large part of this drive is to see what you can accomplish without consequences. The risk is consequences, the reward is your goal and the bonus is the high of 'getting away with just a little more', or a lot more if you can swing it. Anyway, the entire point of consequences is to account for your choices. The thought of getting something for free and avoiding consequences fuels the rush and is a big reason why people do all kinds of crazy stuff, including stalking. This type of thrill seeking extends way beyond in person stalking. The entire realm of cyber stalking, hacking and cloning cell phones, unauthorized network access and monitoring, identity theft seems to be based on this mentality of 'getting away with it'. This is the more human part of the story showing the attitudes and energies that drive the subsequent decision making good or bad. Overcoming Anxieties and Fears with Thrills. There are a number of issues that blend together for this part of the story. When your dislike or obsession (or both) of someone is greater than your good judgment, meaning you start making bad and/or illegal choices, it's time to check yourself. If the notion that you can do certain bad or illegal actions is something you can getaway with, and the thought sticks in your mind, check yourself. I have no idea,what else can be said about this. Just make good decisions... After hours of research and reading numerous psychology articles and research on the information that exist currently for stalking cases. Yes, the majority of stalking cases are the result of romantic relationships that have dismantled and the ensuing fallout. And... The case we have here is one of the 8% of stalking cases where a person is stalked for 5 years or more. Nope. This is not creepy at all... and there is definitely a big chunk of the 'getting away with it' factor involved. Since this circumstance puts us on the fringe, statistically speaking, it was easy to pick out this tendency. Not to obviously point out the obvious but, if you are stalking someone for that long, getting away with it is a big deal. Since I was the bungee jumping thrill seeker and not the torment and torture others thrill seeker, I can cognitively understand the thrill seeking aspect but, can't relate. Stalking: Practice Makes Perfect We all know that no matter how much we dislike repetitious actions, repetition does help us improve our skill, whether we want to or not. Stalking is no different. As shown by our stalker the more they do it, they better they get. As a sneaky thrill seeker, stalkers are no different. Since there is no law against being an a**hole, there is room to carry out crappy attitudes towards others before that line is crossed. In our case, that line was crossed sometime ago. Overcoming Fears of Bad Things by Doing Yet Worse Acts Following the 'Practice Makes Perfect' process this part adds the 'I can't stand this person enough to dismantle their life but I don't want to appear to everyone else to be that person, who does that?" Now I may be and outsider looking into a rabbit hole of bad decision making but, at some point you have to stop and think even for a brief moment about the series of decisions being made. So what's a jealous, judgy person to do? Why become a stalker of course?! The pattern we have seen with every stalking action seems to be; (Yes, it is not lost on me that I may be generalizing a bit and that some stalkers may have a very specific process they follow. Remember this is based on my experience and a great deal of observation) Apprehension Performance Thrill Validation Subsequent mental justification for future repetition Basically, you have a more complex formula for: Wash... Rinse... Repeat. Underneath all of this is the fuel of the thrill of Getting Away with it, without the threat of being a red smear on a rock, like bungee jumping. After all the only reason you have less screw ups with bungee jumping is because there are far fewer do overs. For some the illegal and ethically bad decision making is a huge motivation. Every time they 'get away with it', the perpetrators get silent validation that their decisions are not only acceptable but perhaps right. So, the bonus for stalking seems to be lower physical risk with higher mental and emotional rewards.

blindspots

Stalking: The Thrill of Getting Away with It

Stalking and Belief: Why Friends and Family Don’t Understand

Gossip and Stalking – Part 2 – Deconstruction of Relationships